20080220

Things have been going pretty quickly around here lately, and I haven’t had much time to write, think, or reflect on the situation too much. I don’t enjoy that. I am all for getting things done, and I do not have issues with things happening they way they are planned or ought to happen around the ship and in the Navy, but the little things have been piling up, and I do have my own agenda to which to attend. That, I believe, is equally important to the Navy, and even more so, the world, and it goes without saying that it is important to me as well. For the first time since I went to RTC, I feel like I am loosing speed. And it is not a comforting feeling. The JSOY incident really shot my spirit down and I did everything I could to bounce back as well as I could. These 28 days at sea have been a bitch. I really want to have some communication with my family. Liz is the only one who write me back regularly and even she hasn’t been doing that as much lately. I know she has a lot going on there. I have been asking her for pictures for a while now and haven’t seen them yet. Maybe I am just being pitiful. Maybe being at sea so long does that to people. I refuse to place blame anywhere. I just want to overcome this glumness. Things around here definitely don’t contribute to achieving that…

Today, the three toilets in our head backed up and flooded out at least 100 gallons of pure fecal water. People kept using the urinals in there and tracked feces water all over our living area and the surrounding areas. When the hull techs came and fixed the toilets, they removed to pipes from the backs of the toilets that connect them to the main drainage pipe. Then they put duct tape up across the fronts of the stalls in the shape of an “X” to signify, “do not use.” Well, apparently someone thought they were special, and that the “X” wasn’t going to stop them from taking a shit in one of the OOC toilets. So they proceeded to drop some shit bombs and then flush the toilet, which gets its flushing water from the 125psi fire-main, thus creating a sea-water propelled shit rocket which exploded all over the wall and the deck. As if that wasn’t bad enough, they left it there like that for someone else to clean up. I am surround by idiot FUCKS and people who don’t give a shit about anyone but themselves.

Tomorrow we pull in to port, and I wanted to get a hotel with Gill and Galvan. I was excited about it because it had free internet with the room and I could get a chance to talk to Liz on the webcam. I told her about it and she flipped out. It was a totally unexpected reaction. I thought she would be excited to be on the webcam with me. Instead she pretty much reprimanded me for thinking about getting a hotel, and pretty well expressed her lack of faith and trust in me. I feel even less motivated now. Sometimes it seems no matter what I do, there are people not appreciating, not understanding, not caring, not noticing, disapproving, criticizing, giving me a hard time about, or blowing off what I am doing, who I am being, and what I am up to, even my own wife. I guess I considered that a long time ago. It’s just disheartening to see positive energy be consumed so often by the negative. So here I am, negative for now, and just in time to pull in to port. The natural response would be to go drink and wallow in it, but instead, I have made the choice not to do that, and instead go play soccer against, and get my ass kicked by the Malaysians, then go sightseeing, followed by a day of snorkeling and the a charity event where I get to go help clean up a local town that was partially destroyed. I don’t know if I will get the hotel, as much as I would like to see Liz on webcam, but I’ll still be open to it if she wants to do it. I am not going to do it without knowing that that is what she wants though. And whatever… after this port, it’s STA21 time…. I’ll lay off the e-mail and asking for pictures and everything, do the minimum work for my division, and concentrate on my own agenda. Fuck the naysayers. And I am not going to let the actions (or inactions) of other people get me down, even if they are people close to me.